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Released!

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no mltshpers were harmed in the production of this press release, but there were some awesome mltshpers involved in its writing, editing and production.
10 months ago

heyitsal pro

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Post URL

https://mltshp.com/p/1O8XQ

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wjcstp pro 10 months ago
Flawless, count me in for $0.50.
foolianajarley 10 months ago
Dr. Butt speaks for us all.
WikiAdam 10 months ago
Outstanding.
pk pro 10 months ago
"which is normal"
mcmjolnir pro 10 months ago
@pk big lol from me on that bit
joshleejosh pro 10 months ago
Thanks, shadowy group of librarians and XML markup types! <3
aquaphase pro 10 months ago
outstanding!
caitlinburke pro 10 months ago
This is fighting the good fight, but I don't think the current backers actually want Twitter to succeed :(
cristin pro 10 months ago
brilliant
urlnotfound pro 10 months ago
I LOVE THIS
enfa 10 months ago
put me in for $0.20
MackReed pro 10 months ago
You guys, I think we’re overvaluing the target. Let’s wait another week and I bet it’ll go for $5 and a Tesla hoodie.
MackReed pro 10 months ago
Wait, does anyone have a Tesla hoodie? Thought not. The sawbuck oughta be plenty.
Vidiot pro 10 months ago
So much win. I'll double it! I'm in for $20.
0y3ahSansAcut3 10 months ago
I have some loose vibes I can throw at this.
roonie pro 10 months ago
I'm all in, I don't need to eat this week.
BMK 10 months ago
I gave all my money to MetaFilter, but my mom says we can use the barn to put on a show!
clinthouse 10 months ago
sensible chuckle
samh pro 10 months ago
Has the broccoli-eating hamster graphic been worked up yet?
jessamyn pro 10 months ago
@BMK MeFi needs it more than MLTSHP since we're going to own Twitter real soon now. Please feel free to RT

MLTSHP Tweet: https://twitter.com/mltshphq...
Sample RT: https://twitter.com/jessamyn...
jessamyn pro 10 months ago
If anyone wants/needs the actual text.

MLTSHP MAKES SUBSTANTIAL OFFER TO BUY TWITTER

VIA SLACK, November 23, 2022 FDPNewswire -- MLTSHP.com (DSNY:MLTYSHPPY), a loosely-organized collection of nerds who like posting pictures on the Internet, today has announced its interest in acquiring Twitter (formerly NYSE:TWTR), or the ruins of what was formerly understood to be Twitter, in a tender offer valued at least $10.00, but possibly more.

MLTSHP is widely known as a tremendous social media success, with a vibrant subscription product, millions of images, a committed community of picture-sharers, and the world’s greatest trove of pictures of Wonder Woman star Lynda Carter, which is normal. It is also one of the main sources of animations of people dancing on Friday, the leader in miscellaneous Batman stuff, with significant holdings in woodcuts of chickens, raccoon-related art, cat pics, people’s electricity bills, and occasional tasteful boobies (both nippled and feathered).

“In contrast to MLTSHP, Twitter is a burning pit of racist bots, populated by the worst and most exhausting people to have lived,” said Dr. Dick Butt, SVP of Animated GIFs for MLTSHP. “So $10 might seem like a lot after what the new Twitter leadership has done — but we believe it to be a fair price that acknowledges the $43,999,999,990.00 in lost value, while also offering significant upside to the investors. They can get out of this disaster without going to jail.”

The transaction will be contingent on the resignation of Elon Musk, the current CEO of Twitter. “Twitter is obviously a major distraction to Mr. Musk, who would prefer to focus his energy on getting his weird buttocks smooched by @BongEagle1776 and launching rockets,” said MLTSHP CEO Fipi Lele. “We have a proven record of taking websites that are annoying to their founders and relaunching them under the guidance of a robust steering committee. And no one on our steering council has ever asked for tugjobs on a private jet then tried to buy off the woman with a horse.”

“We’re ready to go. Our team have been moderators and site builders forever,” said the mod council, a shadowy group of librarians and XML markup types who meet on Slack. “The MLTSHP plan for Twitter consists of one large 12-MB animated GIF of a broccoli-eating hamster wearing a little hat, and it’s really great, and we can’t wait to share it. We swear to the gods we could do better. We may be smol but we are mighty.”

“I can think of no better outcome for Twitter than an immediate MLTSHP takeover,” said Dog, one of MLTSHP’s most significant community members, when he was reached via telephone. “This,” he concluded, “is Dog.”

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jazon pro 10 months ago
@jessamyn What's great is twitter did not show me either your tweet or MLTSHPHQ tweet, and I'm following both accounts and was looking at twitter when they posted.
jessamyn pro 10 months ago
@jazon I had to reload the whole page to see it. I think the thing that auto-refreshes was one of those non-essential services.
joffaboy pro 10 months ago
Put me down for $AU2.00 (so that's about $US1.00)...
fishtaco 10 months ago
Thank you for a very BWA-HA-HA-HA Thanksgiving!
jordanbrock pro 10 months ago
[This is good]
hassebasse 10 months ago
So, so good!!
bencmeissner pro 10 months ago
Another reason why MLTSHP is the best damn site on the net.
LocalStain pro 10 months ago
Cheers! This is wonderful but you forgot one little thing;

https://mltshp.com/r/1O93Z.gif

heh
Argie pro 10 months ago
I'm in for a buck fiddy on the proviso that once purchased the entire site and all of its data is dropped into an acid bath
carnivorouskale pro 10 months ago
Have we, as a site, acknowledged that Lynda Carter is active on tumblr now?

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