.

Oysters and nose, obviously

I'd love to be able to control my toaster, with or without my mind.
And how fast can Albert Einstein run? Given he's dead and all!

I'm opening a gravel business.

Gravel is a no brainer.

2 and 3. no contest

5 and 8.

2 for sure. What is the cooldown between 7 inch teleports?

It all sounds trivial, but if you think them through these REALLY are some superpowers which can set you up for life. Just a few:
The world's number #1 Khitan specialist, with world tours to linguist conferences. You make the cover of Time because you've unearthed a culture like no one has before.
A ten-part award-winning series 'swimming with oysters' starring YOU. Prizes. TED talks.
Building a toaster with a midi-controller so you can play music with THOUGHT.
etc.

@bencmeissner I had the same thought. Gigahertz frequency and I'm moving nearly the speed of light.

1 and 2 without even thinking about it

first thing I would do is talk to oysters from the Jurassic: "Tell me everything you know about the salinity. Please please please."

because it doesn't say the oysters have to be alive obvs

omg suddenly I want to be able to talk to oysters SO MUCH that I want to cry

One portion of oysters for me as well, please. I'll try them toasted.

A little talking to dead oysters - necroöstreamancy

Finally we could confirm the kind of noise that annoys an oyster.

7 is my top pick, being able to know a container is empty just by looking at it would be cool but possibly useful, picking between 2 and 3 is a struggle for me. Teleporting 7 inches could potentially be lifesaving, but on the flip side, free gravel for life? Tough choice....

5 doesn’t specify distance, so might allow for toaster-based FTL communication.